My calling…

5 12 2010
I think I finally figured out what I was to do with my life…

I want to be a “mixologist”.

Yes, it’s mixology for me, I’ve been inspired, and it’s what I want to give back to the world. So for the past little while I’ve been making all the preparations (google) and undertaking the training and what not (google) to make it all come together. Not too sure about the history of the school of knowledge, “mixology”, or it’s place amongst the other grand human endeavors — physics, anthropology, philosophy.  When I told my dad I was studying to be a mixologist (google), he looked at me as if I had expressed an interest in becoming Optimus Prime.

Yeah a “mixologist” is what I want to be.

No; not a bar tender. A MIXOLOGIST. It’s a real thing that you have to train to become (google).  I assure you, it’s definitely not some utter, utter bullshit that someone made up as a fake thing like five minutes ago, definitely not.

This is my calling my friends and yes I am available to work in your club.  I rely on my intensive training (google) in the craftsmanship and artistry of creating alcoholic beverages — beverages that only I know how to make, like a gin & tonic or a vodka & tonic.

I amass all these special concoctions on a list — a “cocktail list”, if you’ll let me throw some industry jargon at you.  Then I tailor it to the branding, image, and corporate identity of my client club.  I rename the gin and tonic to make it like a pun on your club’s name or if you don’t want a series of puns we can say something like “the signature cocktails”.
The main thing is the artistry in getting together (google, google, google) a really specific list of drinks (goooooogle) that is definitely not the same shit that everyone else has… that’s MIXOLOGY, my friends. That’s my calling…
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One response

30 12 2010
Hugh

Hey, don’t be like that…
If you want to drink sweet alcoholic drinks who do you turn to? not a bartender. It has to be someone more accomplished like a mixologist!

Some would say bike mechanics who are in for the long haul (i.e the lifers), are the mixologists of the industry. The kids fixing bikes out the back are the bartenders. It gets tiring being a bartender for more than a few years.

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